Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
