I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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