Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
