Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Randomize
