But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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