After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
