Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
