so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
did i walk over a car last night?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
