Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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