nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
