He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
cat food counts as protein by the way
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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