Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
