I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
