what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
