these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
