hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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