Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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