Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
