Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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