your thong is hanging out like whoa
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
