So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
