I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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