My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
