Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
