so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
