im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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