We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I skipped work to stalk him.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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