No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
