I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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