Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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