Having a random hookup so left but love u
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
