i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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