Tell her she can't have a vagina
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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