It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
