I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
