Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
