when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
