you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
