I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
