I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
