the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
