I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
