As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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