the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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