You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
As shirtless as possible
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
