Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
