Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
