To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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