im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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