Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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